Pierwszym intensywnym futbolowym wspomnieniem, jakie przychodzi mi do głowy, jest odrażający zapach moczu. Śmierdział nim cały korytarz i mieszkanie. Nie pamiętam już czy ten pan, którego hucznie nazywaliśmy trenerem drużyny, sikał do wanny, która znajdowała się w korytarzu, czy wprost na podłogę. Niemniej jednak wejście do jego lokalu było sporym wyzwaniem. Wyzwaniem, które akurat tamtego dnia, gdzieś w okolicach roku 1999 należało do mnie.
Wszystko dlatego, że od dziecka byłem wygadany i nie miałem problemu z nawiązywaniem relacji międzyludzkich. Kiedy okazało się, że nasz trener spóźnia się na trening, chłopaki zdecydowali, że tym razem to ja pójdę do pana Waldka i poproszę go, żeby do nas przyszedł i otworzył szatnię i dał kilka piłek.
Nigdy nie miałem talentu futbolowego, chociaż piłkę kochałem nad życie. Już w tamtych czasach potrafiłem w mgnieniu oka wymienić największe sukcesy polskich drużyn w europejskich pucharach czy piłkarzy z minionych epok. Miałem nadwagę i nieporadne nogi, nie przeszkadzało mi to jednak marzyć o założeniu czerwonej koszulki Manchesteru United i graniu na Old Trafford.
I właśnie z tym marzeniem wystąpienia na mitycznym “Teatrze Marzeń” poszedłem na blokowisko nieopodal boiska, gdzie mieszkał trener. Chociaż było to ponad 20 lat temu, po dziś pamiętam strach, który towarzyszył mi w chwili, gdy zobaczyłem trenera na kanapie. Powiedzieć, że był pijany, to nic nie powiedzieć. Leżał jak szmaciana lalka, którą znudzona dziewczynka rzuca, bo nie chce się nią już bawić.
Mamrotał coś pod nosem, więc uciekłem szybko po rzuceniu krótkiego: “trenerze, przyjdzie trener na trening?”. Przyszedł. Otworzył szatnię, rzucił kilka piłek, wyciągnął wielkie i ciężkie tyczki, między którymi mieliśmy dryblować i schował się w budynku klubowym.
Takie treningi zdarzały się bardzo często. Tak samo jak wyniki meczów, w których braliśmy udział. Najwyższe, jakie pamiętam, to solidnie lanie 0:30 w młodzikach. A musicie wiedzieć, że czas gry młodzika to dwie połowy po 30 minut każda. Zatem statystycznie licząc, gole w tym meczu padały dokładnie co dwie minuty gry. Przerażająca statystyka.
Zdarzył się też wynik 0:18, w którym zdobyłem gola samobójczego. A wszystko dlatego, że trener wystawił mnie w ataku, a ja znudzony ciągłym rozpoczynaniem meczu od środka, poszedłem w końcu do obrony. I właśnie wtedy zadziałał “instynkt snajpera”, który zmusił mnie do dołożenia nogi do lecącej piłki. Uśmiechnąłem się nawet wtedy pod nosem, choć na pewno zabawne to nie było.
Zresztą końcówka lat 90. w naszej małej miejscowości na południu Polski i naszym futbolowym wielkim świecie małych ludzi była delikatnie mówiąc specyficzna. Bawiło nas, że kolega właśnie po tym przegranym 0:18 meczu jechał przez całą miejscowość naszego ówczesnego rywala z gołymi pośladkami przyklejonymi do szyby autokaru. Bawiło nas też to, że trener przed lub po treningu, a najczęściej w podwójnej konfiguracji, pije piwo pod sklepem.
Takich małych miejscowości w Polsce na pewno było dużo więcej, a futbol w tych miejscach roił się od absurdów. Zresztą doświadczyłem ich, będąc kilka lat później sędzią piłkarskim. To już jednak zupełnie inna opowieść.
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